I remember when I saw the two pink lines from my pregnancy indicator stick indicating my soon-to-be entrance into motherhood, I was pretty sure I had this whole motherhood gig figured out due to the information I had picked up on over the years from a variety of other mom’s:


“NEVER allow your baby to use a pacifier.”
“Breast is always best.”
“Never allow co-sleeping with your baby or kids otherwise you will never sleep in your own bed again (which means no more sex for you and your husband).”
“Never let your baby cry (otherwise you are a bad mom.)”
“Don’t let your kids watch T.V. otherwise it will cause permanent damage the brain.”
“Natural birth is always best.”
“Always make your own baby food, if possible, to prevent unwanted damage to your child by preservatives in pre-made baby food.”
…The list goes on and on.


You see I had it ALL figured out and knew the RIGHT way to mother my children someday.

Hopefully you can catch my sarcasm.



Little did I know that those 2 little pink lines I first experienced revealed not merely just one baby in my tummy, but two tiny babies growing in my belly, giving me my first crazy experience into motherhood.

Little did I know that not only was I dead wrong in my beliefs pre-kids about a right and wrong way to parent, I found out early on in motherhood, especially raising twins, that I wasn’t a bad mom for not abiding by the beliefs of others who told me how best to mother my children.

Little did I know that when their baby sister was born a short 19 months later, things really started to change in regards to my parenting techniques and beliefs.  I started to give myself some slack for not being able to do “everything by the book” when it came to parenting 3 children under 2.

While there are obviously certain things that would warrant child protective services to be issued on some mom’s and dad’s (those who might be neglecting their children’s major needs), this is not what I am talking about in regards to the “right” or “wrong” way to parent.  I’m talking about the issues between breastfeeding or bottle-feeding.  Sleep-training or co-sleeping.  Time-out’s or spanking. Cloth diapers or Pampers. Pacifiers or not.  Vaccinating or abstaining. There are a variety of ways we decide as mom’s (and dad’s) to raise our children and to say that one way is right or one way is wrong is not accurate, nor the best way to go about it.”

Motherhood is uniquely different for everyone. No child is the same. No home dynamic is the same. What works for one family may not work for another. What form of discipline works for one child may not work for the other.  We are to warrant love, grace and support to other mom’s and dad’s who may have different views on how to do things instead of casting shame and blame on them if they choose a different method.


I remember at my newer stage of motherhood pouring through books on how to parent my infant twins with colic, trying to keep them on the same nap schedule (like so many twin books stated) amidst their incessant screams because it was said this was the “best” method for raising twins.   I learned many valuable things through reading some of these books, however I eventually came to the conclusion that although advice can be helpful, there is not one right and ONLY right way to raise my babies well. Therefore, advice from the numerous parenting books that stated “this way is the right way” or “this way is the wrong way” became great tools helping me practice my basketball skills as I shot them into my trashcan. Literally.

I started avoiding mothering or parenting books… until now.

I just experienced a refreshing read by two wonderful mom’s who teamed up together to de-bunk the 10 top myths of motherhood with a book titled Hoodwinked [Grab your copy here now].



Karen Ehman, Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and author, as well as Ruth Schwenk, the founder of provide sound advice into revealing the damaging lies many mom’s believe, shedding light onto these issues.  With a mixture of motherhood examples, biblical principles, and stories that emanate a sigh of refreshing truth to these motherhood myths, their witty and truthful insights had me laughing to tears, nodding my head in agreement saying “amen,” and left me feeling love and appreciation for all mom’s (and dad’s) who are in this parenting gig with me.

This book is so much more than telling. It encourages by coming alongside you in your woes and struggles of motherhood. It is uplifting as they share helpful biblical insights and tools they’ve discovered about parenting. It breaks away the weights and chains of false realities that we mom’s all face in this Pinterest perfect world of motherhood.

One myth they revealed in this book which I related to is: Myth #2: The Way I Mother Is The Right (and Only) Way.

As you can see from my above statements at the beginning of this review, I have SO been in this boat before, sadly. I remember pre-kids believing this myth that “the way I mother is the right and only way” and secretly shaming other mom’s I knew who were doing things the “wrong” way from what I believed. I also remember my first year of motherhood as a first-time mom of twins, receiving backlash from other mom’s I’d run into that I was doing things the “wrong” way.

I love how Karen and Ruth put it in their book:


“Unless there is a black-and-white commandment in Scripture for something that pertains to our mothering, raising your kiddos is multiple choice. Are some choices better than others? Of course they are! We shouldn’t just cast lots, or close our eyes and spin around and then pin our hopes and dreams on some random method of parenting. We should be prayerful. And careful. We should weigh opinions of other trusted mentors and others who are further down the road than we are. But we must stop short of thinking we are doing things the right and only way.”


Have you been there? Are you experiencing this now?

Let me give you a virtual hug right now and tell you something, “You are doing a great job mama!”

On a personal note, I apologize if I’ve offended any mama’s out there because of my prideful attempts to convince you that my way was the RIGHT and ONLY way to parent.   Thank this book (and the lesson’s God’s taught me these past few years) about extending love, grace and good-will to all of you out there who are working your tails off to be the best darn mama’s (and papa’s) you can be to your family in your own unique and beautiful ways!


I am also doing a GIVEAWAY in honor of this fabulous book (and in honor of the Christmas season) giving away one free copy of  Hoodwinked to the winner!  You have 24 hours to enter through Rafflecopter below!

Or if you can’t wait, Grab this book now ladies (and gentlemen!) We all can benefit from gaining the insights learned in this book regarding the top “10 myths mom’s believe and why we all need to knock it off.”

And watch this inspiring video of mom’s just like you and me from all various walks of life, who are filling the gorge of separating ourselves in our beliefs of motherhood and instead are gathering together to build a bridge of oneness to those who are loving on their children the best ways they know how; who’s hopes are simply to raise their little ones as children after God’s own heart.

“I just LOVE this book!” – Rachel Swanson 🙂


(Did you miss my previous post about my December GIVEAWAYS?)

More GIVEAWAYS coming up on the 12th and 22nd of this month here on Refine and Restore!


[There were no endorsements for this review.  This is based on my opinion only]

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