(Day 30): Let Go Of The Outcome and Enjoy the Process
Do you remember me telling you toward the beginning of this series how only 8% of the things we worry about we have control on regarding the outcome? So 92% of the time we are stressed out and worrying about things we have absolutely no control over!
I remember when I first started out with my secret desire to become a serious writer.
On my writing adventure I struggled with the lie that my success was defined by my outcome. That in order to be a serious writer I needed to make a BIG impact in this world… which meant I needed to succeed by getting a book published with a traditional publisher something less than 1% of the population are able to achieve.
While this idea of publishing a book was a definite goal of mine, a year ago I was attaching too much weight to this uncontrollable, as well as other uncontrollable’s when it came to my creative pursuits.
The only thing I can control is taking action steps to become a published author and viable speaker. I had to let go of the outcome and enjoy the process.
Oh this was hard at first. But then I began to see how God was refining me through this process.
I had to ask myself an honest question, “was my goal more about the end result for my own desires of a title or was my goal to inspire and encourage the hearts of others no matter how few I was given?”
Because few there were in the beginning. Very few. Even now I don’t have a giant platform for writing + speaking compared to many pursuing a writing + speaking career.
I remember one of the first times I stepped out on a stage prepared to speak to what I hoped would be about 40-60+ women in attendance. Not even a huge amount, but given the topic I was speaking on I knew it was going to be a hard sell. With 60 seats ready for a fanny to land, I waited, and waited, and waited… well past the time I was supposed to speak. Four women showed up. Four.
I cried sobbing wet tears of embarrassment and pain afterwards. I almost threw in the towel. I thought, “why am I spending all this time away from family, prepping and pouring into this when I’m only helping four people!”
But the following day after this event, God asked me that same question, “is your goal more about the end result for my own self glory or is my goal to inspire and encourage the hearts of others no matter how few you’re given?”
My pride fell as I embraced the challenge and said, “Yes God. I will continue to show up for the few you have called me to.”
Little did I know how valuable that experience would be to my growth and later on toward this recent development of my speaking path as I continued to say “yes God” no matter how small my impact seemed. It has continued to challenge my heart to see souls instead of seats filled.
Oh how God has gotten a hold of my heart and head on this issue. To let go of the outcome, trust in His plan and timing for everything as I allowed Him to strip my heart of the pride and filth that was lingering just below the surface.
I honestly could care less now about having a big platform or speaking career. My worth and value is not merited on numbers. It’s not merited by what anyone of flesh and blood actually say about me. My heart is driven to love on the hearts of others because of the ONE who loves me. My worth and value is only merited by the ONE who tells me that I’m already enough… and you are too.
When I adopted this idea of letting go of the outcome, to enjoy why I fell in love with writing + speaking in the first place–to encourage the hearts of others and provide value to someone else through my experience or expertise in writing + speaking words of Truth–it’s amazing how much my confidence + joy increased. It’s amazing how much peace I had when it came to “doing all the things I was supposed to be doing to become a writer + speaker” and instead just resting in chipping away at the few most important things, slowly but surely, as I continued to seek God for insights and follow His lead.
I pulled back from blogging early Spring 2016 because I was feeling a bit burnt out and I didn’t feel like it was where God wanted me to be spending all my time and effort into. Low and behold, a divine gift-of-an-idea dropped into my head which I can only credit to God’s inspiration. It was clearly His desire to have me bring this heart-felt project to fruition. I saw this as the project God desired me to invest my time and efforts into for the current season, putting the majority of other things aside. Although I knew it would get published someday, I let go of the “when” and “with who” question allowing my heart and head to simply enjoy the process of creating and patiently waiting in God’s timing. It completely put my stress-levels at ease.
So what is it that you are holding onto so desperately, where are you so focused on the outcome you aren’t truly enjoying the process? Let go of the outcome, my friend. Enjoy the process–THAT is when you will become free from stress and anxiety.