Mercy in the Muck

Intimate Insights by Rachel Series: Part 4 of 4

(This is Part 4 of the Intimate Insights by Rachel series, a personal reflection of raw realness with a bit of faith sprinkled in. This concludes my series!)

**A personal devotional insight for the day**

Proverbs 28:13 “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.”

His palms were sweaty; his eye’s fixed at the ground in shame.

He looked up at me. With penetrating eyes I could sense the wreckage within his soul; something was eating at him.

His nervousness was evidence that this confession would hurt; this was not a solo act of distress. Sure enough, his lengthy confession bred deep hurt and pain—pain shared between us both— confirming our marriage was strained.

I knew the faults leading to this downward spiral in our marriage were not simply his. I had allowed small holes to fester in our marriage, ignorantly perhaps. Yet I too had ignored the weight of my seemingly insignificant sins that continued to weaken our marriage foundation. Like the steady erosion process of soil, our marriage was gradually, slowly breaking down from the culmination of concealed and unconfessed sins.

We had been losing our focus on the Creator, coasting through life. Busyness swept in. Time for each other was lost. Sin entered. Walls went up. Intimacy waned.

Wounded as I was by his confession, I remember an inconceivable love for my husband washed over me amidst our brokenness. Yes my injured heart wept for him, for us. Yet through those salty tears, I felt emotional walls crumbling, sins being washed clean, and a fountain of restored intimacy returned in our marriage.

We prayed for healing. Prayed for forgiveness. Prayed for love. And a beautiful thing happened…

Mercy entered.

God is a God of mercy. He does not want us to wallow in the weight of our own muck, but He calls us to confess our sins so that we will receive His mercy.

Sometimes I’ve been so stuck in the muck of my guilt and shame that I’ve felt unable to do what God has called me to do—confess and pray so that I will find spiritual healing from the bonds of sin. God doesn’t guarantee the physical situation after confession will be all flowers and rainbows. But God does guarantee for those who come to Him weary and heavy burdened, He will restore their soul. (Matt 11:28-30).

Jesus took upon himself all the sins of the world and paid the ultimate price so that we might be free from the bondage of our sins. His soul-filling mercy is simply a request away. Mercy that will calm the storms in your heart and free you from the muck of your guilt and shame. Overflowing mercy that can wash away your bitterness, freeing you to extend mercy for transgressions against you.

I had no mercy of my own to extend, yet I felt my spirit extend genuine mercy to my husband that day. Restoration over time was delivered. An extension of mercy—grace and compassion—continues to blossom between us as we daily ask Jesus to come into the muck of our sins.

(For those that were curious, this story was based on true events from many years past. I am thankful to currently have such a strong, grace-filled, loving marriage relationship with my spouse! Our love is so much deeper now that we’ve allowed God to enter our messes. Let me know how I can be praying for you and your relationships in the comment section below!)