I hear some of you chuckling already at the title of this post. It’s quite the drastic statement for me to say that a tub of suds and bubbles with steamy jets streaming around my body saved my marriage from the possibility of failure.
Giving a bit more truth to this statement, it wasn’t necessarily the Jacuzzi itself that I believe has saved and strengthened the marriage I now have today, it is what the Jacuzzi brought to our relationship.
When we first looked at houses to buy 4 years ago (OK the real story is we looked at only 1 house which I knew immediately was the one, so we bought it), I really wanted a house with a pool and a jacuzzi or spa attached. However, I knew my husband did not share the same love for a house with a pool, and definitely not a Jacuzzi attached.
So as the saying goes, “happy wife, happy life” we bought the said house that I loved with a pool/jacuzzi combo. Little did we realize how much of an impact a little ‘ole jacuzzi would have on our marriage.
At the time of purchasing, things weren’t bad in our marriage. We were just busy with 5 month old twins, both working to provide a comfortable lifestyle, and set ourselves on cruise control when it came to engaging with each other. There wasn’t much fighting, yet there wasn’t a much zest between us either. We were both pretty exhausted keeping up with the demands of two colicky infants on top of the demands of life, so extending any extra energy into cultivating our own relationship was like giving leftover crumbs for each other to fill up on.
This Jacuzzi came at just the right time.
In a season where getting out for a date night was non-existent (and still often is) we were able to conveniently go out on our patio after our twins went down for the night, baby monitor perched off to the side, and enjoy the bubbly tub of relax-induced goodness. This became a frequent date night activity for us as we soaked-in (literally) the peace and relaxation we both longed for (and it was free! No babysitting fee!)
Over the next several years it has become more than just a place to find some relaxation for our over-worked muscles. It became a place to engage in our marriage. To come together as husband and wife and unify our souls through many heart-felt discussions, dream-filled planning, exhaustion-filled spews, and… yes, it increased our physical intimacy as well!
It forced us to connect and communicate on a consistent basis which I believe is vital for every marriage to thrive and flourish.
Looking back, before this convenient time of connecting intentionally, things were good, but why settle for good when you can have great?!
I get it though. It’s so easy to fall into a rut and sacrifice time together with our spouse when life is exhaustively busy. There are always excuses creeping in that seek to separate time spent together—which is critical for any marriage relationship to become strong.
But we must become aware of our emotional tanks. We must become aware of what must be done in order to keep a vibrant marriage and family life together. We must seek ways to cultivate that love we first started with in our marriage so that it doesn’t become dry and brittle and break. We must intentionally love each other in ways we each desire to be loved without any expectation in return. In turn, your marriage will thrive with new life-giving memories instead of survive off of “remember when…” stories.
So you may think I was joking when I said that my jacuzzi saved my marriage, but honestly it’s strengthened my marriage in ways I never even knew were lacking.
