My Love Affair

Intimate Insights by Rachel Series: Part 3 of 4

(This is Part 3 of the Intimate Insights by Rachel series, a personal reflection of raw realness with a bit of faith sprinkled in.)

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone where you want to spend every waking minute with that person?

I remember 11 years ago dating my boyfriend, there came a certain point where I crossed that threshold with him between casually dating him towards really wanting to get to know him. Then there was a point where my feelings went from liking him to a distinct moment where I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And now in my marriage with this boyfriend-turned-husband, there has been a pivotal shift in the past 3 years towards a depth of intimacy in our relationship I never thought was possible because of some major shifting’s we’ve established together.

It’s interesting how my relationship with God has taken a similar path.

I’ve entered into a season of my life where my relationship with God is different than it’s been in the past 15 years since I’ve accepted God as my Lord and Savior.

I yearn to spend time with Him. I crave moments to soak into the scriptures because of the necessary fuel it provides for the rest of my day. I long to be with Him in prayer, conversing with Him, being still before Him and listening to Him respond to me, enjoying every aspect of this relational intimacy with Him.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I am some “holier than thou” Christian. I still fail everyday and am far from where I desire to be still. Yes I’m actively spending more time with God, reading the bible, praying, and enjoying living a lifestyle that is hopefully a genuine reflection of where my heart lies (prayerfully more in Christ), but this does not mean I am better than another, or holier than others, or “good” by any means. I’ve still got plenty of faults and areas to work on in my life which I’m not afraid to share (for example, read one of my previous posts on motherhood).

Speaking simply, the stage of the relationship I am in with the Creator is wonderful and I am humbled to have discovered that a deeper relational intimacy with God is truly possible.

It’s different. A good different. Different than it’s been before, where I previously looked at bible study, praying, and spending time with God more as a chore rather than a pleasure and joy to be had.

“How happy are the people who know the sound of joy! They walk in the light of Your face, O Lord. They are full of joy in Your name all day long. And by being right with You, they are honored.” Psalm 89:15-16 (NLV).

Unbeknownst to me, this type of relational intimacy has always been available for me to experience. God has always been inviting me to enter into a deeper more intimate relationship with Him, yet I was the one not investing myself into it. I’ve come to realize that establishing true intimacy and true relationship with God cannot be one-sided to enjoy a purposeful thriving life.

It’s similar to the marriage relationship I have with my husband. I cannot expect to have deeper intimacy with him if I’m not willing to invest my time and energy into him as well. I need to be actively seeking him out, creating those moments to experience relationship with each other. This typically doesn’t happen by chance but needs to be strategically crafted into our busy daily lives. Otherwise the busyness of our moment-by-moment responsibilities will overcome all moments of possible needed and desired intimacy with each other.

God desires us to experience deeper intimacy with him, far deeper than perhaps you may be experiencing.

There are intimate moments God is trying to connect with you that may feel activated by chance—a beautiful sunset on your drive home from work that leaves you breathless, attesting to God’s fine artwork? Yet most of the time we need to be willing to take the initial steps towards allowing this relationship to be nourished and flourished by the everyday activities of inviting Him into our life—reading God’s word, prayer, and serving in the ways God has asked of us to serve. This takes time and skill to craft these additional activities in my day in order to cultivate this personal relationship with God.

As much as this life renewing relationship with the Creator is exciting and nourishing to my soul, there are some hard sacrifices I’ve recently been asked to make:

• My house is a bit messier.
• My sleep is less than desired.
• My time with lots of social outings with friends is more limited.
• My time spent doing other things that I would perhaps be doing (watching TV, browsing the internet, reading a fun novel, etc.) is either completely set aside or I place on hold more often.

I’ve found time spent with God, reading his Word and being in prayer, for me, is far more important, necessary, and needed than worrying about a messy house (not that we should give up and live in a pigsty). Spending 5 minutes in prayer before I tackle my to-do list that day really does give me more focus and energy to accomplish the daunting to-do list that I have each day. Spending time with God gives me more joy to my day, fuels me with the required energy I need when I’m depleted, and allows me to soak into His calming presence amidst life’s chaos—for example when I have my house clean for only three minutes until my three tornado toddlers come storming through.

Perhaps this all sounds a bit odd to you. This deeper set intimacy with God might sound far-fetched or simply unattainable to you. I thought this at one time as well. But now that I’m experiencing this relational intimacy with God in my own life, (which reflects into my marriage relationship with my husband) I assure you it is not far-fetched. I’m reading a book called Experiencing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby which attests to this as well. It affirms that a more intimate relationship with God is real and openly available to those who seek Him—however it must be sought out of genuine love.

“The one who has My commands and keeps them is the one who loves Me. And the one who loves Me will be loved by My Father. I also will love him and will reveal Myself to him.” John 14:21.