Psalm 119
Have you ever felt stuck in a place where moving forward requires a leap of faith bigger than yourself? So you allow fear to override your faith, preventing you from experiencing what you are meant to pursue?
The reason I haven’t written in a while is because I have been stuck between this warring desire of sharing wholeheartedly what’s on my heart in regards to where God is leading me and what he is teaching me in life; but I fear what I share will be slammed by critics and separate some of the friendships I’m in contact with.
You see… the thing is, I’ve come to a point in my life where God’s leading me to stop playing it safe. He’s handing me the baton, s0-to-speak, and asking me if I will run with him in this great and amazing race! A race full of knowledge, love, beauty, understanding, leadership, community, and awesomeness (yes had to throw that word in there). But it’s also a race full of tempting snares, exhausting trials, divided hearts, unknowns, and just. plain. hard. work.
I have come to a crossing where I need to decide who am I trying to please: Others or the One who ultimately formed me in my mothers womb.
- I have let fear determine my actions, or lack thereof, with my writing.
- I have let fear hold me back from proclaiming God’s truth in sharing the experiences I’ve faced; proclaiming God’s grace upon the joys and broken parts of my past and present condition.
- I have let fear override my abilities to be a teacher of God’s truth and word for fear I may be wrong in my teachings.
I have decided there will:
…always be a critic of my writing.
…always be a critic of me sharing my personal experiences and how they relate back to God’s truths.
…always be a critic toward my ability to teach and lead other’s to Christ.
I share the same words with this psalmist today (spoken in a more casual version, The Message Bible):
“Remember what was said to me, your servant–
I hang on to these words for dear life!
These words hold me up in bad times;
yes, your promises rejuvenate me.
The insolent ridicule me without mercy,
but I don’t budge from your revelation.
I watch for your ancient landmark words,
and know I’m on the right track.”
Psalm 119:49-52
I am no longer going to allow fear to override my faith.
Therefore, I will speak with boldness as God see’s fit for me to speak; prayerfully in humility and not with pride, with courage and not in trembling, with loving grace towards all and not slander in my words.
Words can uplift just as quickly as they destroy, and I do not take this insightful countenance lightly. Know my heart is geared to ultimately uplift others through my words, bring hope and peace through my knowledge of the One who guides me on this maze-like blaze through life.
Therefore, I have decided to become unstuck…
