I was getting ready to be productive at my computer and decided to set my phone alarm to remind me when the laundry cycle would be done (something I recently thought might help me actually get the laundry done!)
I stared at my phone blankly.
Swiped a few times between screens.
Took a few seconds to think.
Clicked the Apps link.
Scrolled through the apps.
Clicked on “Alarm” but then realized that was to set my home security system alarm.
Finally found it under the name “Clocks.” Go figure!
To my mommy friends with young children, do you remember when you used to set your alarm to wake up in the morning? I know, I can hardly remember either! Or do you remember when sleeping in was a thing instead of a long forgotten dream? sigh
I know. It’s been a while. Perhaps it’s been so long since you last set your alarm you can’t remember where the alarm app is located too huh? Let alone the name of it.
Often it’s in these silly small scenarios that suddenly drive me down a road of longing and wishing and hoping for what once was. My mind begins to wander to memories of a lifestyle I once knew that seems at this present time so much better than my current circumstances. A lifestyle when I slept more, took more showers, when my life revolved a lot more around me. Sounds a bit selfish right?
It sends me spiraling down into a mood that is less than what I would like to admit. All because of one silly little app I couldn’t find on my phone.
I set my alarm and then close the app, now feeling somewhat dejected about the present. My thoughts continue to trail to the days of more sleep and the ability to shower more than every 3 days.
Just before my phone shut off, I noticed the background picture of my kids and husband holding hands at the beach. A smile crept on my face. That was a fun moment. A spur-of-the-moment experience that turned into such joy-filled memories as we splashed in salty suds in our soaking wet jeans right before stripping off my boots because of the unexpected adventure.
Before we had children, I remember being in a stage of married life with my husband where we were content. However now we would have said it was a bit “boring.” My husband and I joke, “Remember when we used to get bored? Ha, me neither!”
Life with kids is hard, but it’s hardly ever boring.
Life with kids is taxing, but it’s definitely joy giving.
Life with kids takes sacrifice, but it’s deeply rewarding.
Life with kids is tiring, but has taught me to hold onto my faith which gives me strength.
Sometimes I need the reminder that through the challenges motherhood brings, there is also so much to be thankful for. This was the role I prayed for. The role I was desperate for. After 5 years of marriage we were so ready and I desired to be a mommy so incredibly much! I remember feeling let down month after month for 6 months until the 7th month I got my wish. (I know this is NOTHING compared to you ladies where it’s taken you years to get pregnant, if ever.)
There are many of you reading this right now who would love to be in my shoes—tired from motherhood, trying to remember how to set the alarm app. This is why I am choosing to refine my heart and mind from the felt woes of motherhood to the felt honor of motherhood. Because really, getting more sleep is a small sacrifice to pay for the rewards of a “mommy” title.
So for my mommy friends getting a bit down (like myself) in this moment because you long for that life you used to have before kids which seems much more sparkly than your current condition, let me encourage you to refine your mind to see beauty in the chaos.
Try on a bit of gratefulness for size. Even if you don’t want to. See how much better it feels?
Don’t fall into the trap of longing and wishing for what once was.
Don’t look back. Be present. See the beauty of what’s before you.
Embrace your calling as “mommy.”
Someday we will remember how to set our phone alarms again.
