I’m going to keep this short and simple today. But it’s a more profound thought than you might think.

Main point: your husband needs you.

Yes… he really does.

Jeff and Rachel Swanson

Even though you may think he doesn’t, he craves to be known by you.

Even though you may think he’s distracted, he longs to be the center of your attention.

Even though you may think he gets enough of your hugs and kisses, he needs more… much more.

Even though you may think he’s got life figured out without your help, he needs to know you believe in him no matter what.


He may act like he’s fine or pretend like he doesn’t care, but he needs to know that you still believe he’s your knight in shining armor. That he’s got what it takes. Yes… really.

Amidst the dishes that need to be done or the babies that beg for your attention, a few moments of eye contact with him and a few words of “honey, I really do love and appreciate all you do for me and this family,” is all it takes to break the wall of ice that has been forming between you since you said “I do.”

Unnoticed at first, but somehow glaciers start to form after all the busyness and lack of “hello’s” leaving you both feeling estranged from each other and oddly distant.

Because there’s an enemy out there that wants to destroy you. He wants to destroy your marriage and make you believe in the lies that marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. He wants you to believe your husband is against you, and he wants you husband to believe you are against him. And while that may feel true sometimes, there’s a bigger power and presence who can overcome this. Tap into the love FOR God and He will tap into you and your marriage.

You may think your husband needs to be the one to express his love for you first, and while it may be true that you’ve lacked experiencing the depth of his love for a while now, crack the ice you keep forming by waiting for him to make the first move, and instead… be the pawn and move first.

Be a wall breaker, not a wall former.

Discover how to speak volumes to his heart without having to go to crazy lengths of additional effort while you are mothering in those exhausting years. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple is often better.

If he’s a touchy feely guy, give him a back rub for 5 minutes before bed, or hold his hand while you watch your Netflix.

If he’s always serving you, serve him back by doing the laundry that’s been piling up too high or clean the floors and let him know through a text saying, “hey, I cleaned the floors for you, but I’m pretty sure you won’t notice by the time you get home because… well… kids!”

If he is a words guy, tell him how much you respect and honor him (not love him… he already knows you love him). Write a love note on your mirror in red lipstick. Tell him genuine truths you see that are positive to his character and let him know you see him and respect him and honor the person God is continually refining within him.


Because the honest truth is, he needs to know you are still his life partner especially when life gets hard or messy or overwhelmingly exhausting.

He needs to know, simply, you see him and believe in him.  

Believe in him when no one else will. Believe in him… and your heart will be filled.

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